How to Improve Your Child’s Sleep?
I am a believer in having routines and schedules for a child. Routines and schedules provide much needed structure and predictability for children and are a valuable tool for parents and caretakers. Routines and schedules can also help your child get highly valuable rest and sleep. Giving yourself and your child the gift of sleep is critical to physical, emotional, and mental development. It also helps decrease your stress because you both have more rest.
Providing predictability in your routine and schedule cues your child when it is time to sleep and helps with getting better sleep.
Let’s talk about creating a calming routine and environment for your child to sleep. It is very difficult to fall asleep immediately. We as adults don’t fall asleep instantly and we should not expect our children to do that. You, as an adult, have a bedtime routine that helps you wind down. Your child needs a bedtime routine too.
A bedtime routine doesn’t have to be long and intricate but it does need to be at least a couple minutes in length so your child can start to relax and wind down.
When our son was 6 months old, we started a bedtime routine with him that took about 10 minutes. Now that our son is 2 years old, the bedtime routine is closer to 30 minutes because we read more books together. The length of time for us works well and our son is a great sleeper. You know your child and can make a sleep routine that works for your situation.
As we created our routine, we used the book - It’s Never too Late to Sleep Train - by Dr. Craig Canapari. The term “sleep-training” can be very off-putting so let me clarify. Yes, this book has strategies on sleep training AND for us, the cornerstone of this book was the bedtime routine.
We realized that we were not giving our son the amount of time he needed to calm down, to relax, and to mentally get ready for sleep. We were going from highly stimulating activities such as running around outside to getting him in his pajamas and expecting him to fall asleep. That just doesn’t work. This book was so helpful in showing us a great parenting mirror - we could clearly see that we needed to make some changes so our child could sleep.
Dr. Canapari describes verbally cuing your child about the upcoming routine - saying multiple times, we are going to get ready for bed in 5 minutes or it’s time to get ready for bed” so they have a clearly communicated expectation of what is going to happen. Dr. Canapari then says the verbal cue has to be followed by action, otherwise the verbal cue is meaningless. Sound like parenting??
Pulling the verbal cue and action together, here is an example routine to do at naptime and bedtime:
Verbally cue – “It is time to get ready for bed.”
Action – Go into the child’s bedroom, close the blinds, turn off the overhead light, turn on a red light lamp, check the room temperature, and turn on a sound machine.
Verbally cue – “We are going to get our pajamas on for bedtime.”
Action – Change diaper and get dressed in pajamas.
Verbally cue – “Now that we are cozy, we are going to read a few books before going to bed.”
Action – Pick a few books to calmly read.
Verbally cue – “Those were great bedtime stories. It’s time for us to go to bed too.”
Action – Turn off any additional lights, cuddle / sing, then put your baby to bed.
Verbally cue – “Good night, I love you.”
Action – Leave the space / room.
You can do this with children who need to use the potty before bedtime, when they ask for water or a snack, if they want to read one more book, when they need to start brushing teeth, or any other reason why your child may want to stay awake. The verbal cue sets the expectation and then your action commits the follow through.
I strongly recommend finding a simple, repeatable bedtime routine. Do the same routine for naptime that you do for bedtime because both are preparing the child for sleep regardless of the time of day. Tell your partner or childcare about the routine you’ve created so you can provide a consistent experience for your child.
I know you will see results. You, as the parent, need to commit to the routine and provide that structure for your child. They thrive with structure and predictability and their sleep will improve as you continue using your sleep routine.
If you are in need of a tool or guide to help you implement your sleep routine, check out my Resources page, Routines and Schedules Guide.
